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Ghost Toast – Shape Without Form Review
The angry metal times, they are a-changin’. Suddenly equality matters in the promo pit, and now instead of casting my gaze to particularly promising offerings on the farther end of the horizon I must...
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Interview with Tony Thomas of Dawn of Ouroboros
It hurts to update this intro after the departure of Master of Muppets from these hallowed halls, but I wish my furry friend the very best in his quest for wellness and in all of his future — and I’m...
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In the Company of Serpents – Lux Review
I’ve mentioned before that I quite enjoy the phenomenon of listening to a new album and immediately knowing which of my scribe litter-mates will enjoy said album. Got something heavier than a planet...
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Akolyth – Akolyth Review
I like my black metal like I like my coffee: freezing cold, mostly sugar and served in packaging that elicits headshakes ov disapproval from my more br00tal colleagues. The trve and elite alike are...
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Noctu – Gelidae Mortis Imago Review
When I hear the term “funeral doom,” several words immediately come to mind: slow, reeeally fucking slow, crushing, monolithic, etc. I’m moved to many turns ov phrase in the presence of funeral doom,...
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Walking Rumor – Symbiosis Review
What the fuck is going on lately? The comfortable routine of life as I once knew it has gone the way of disco and the dinosaurs; all I see is sickness and barren swathes of emptiness where everything I...
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Then Comes Silence – Machine Review
I’m a simple Muppet. I like to sit still and silently glare at the world from the shadows, except for when I like to hoot n’ holler under disco lights while I shake my moneymaker.1 I can’t always...
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Dawn of Ouroboros – The Art of Morphology Review
It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine—no thanks to you creeps. Typically I’m able to find solace from a world on fire by fleeing to the aegis of the Promo Pit and the commiseration...
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Malist – To Mantle the Rising Sun Review
Atmospheric black metal is as rife with possibilities as it is with generic clones. In theory, the term describes music that chiefly adheres to black metal rvles, while also utilizing various sonic...
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Yer Indefensible Metal is Olde: Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory
2000 was fucking weird. We greeted the post y2k rubble with frosted tips and eyebrow rings, with countless pogs and beanie babies smouldering at our backs as we wandered into an age dominated by...
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Mental Health Awareness: Interview with Nils Groth of Heretoir
Nobody likes being depressed, plain and simple. It inherently brings us somewhere cold, dark and painful, and conversations centered around the subject can often lead to similarly unpleasant...
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Ghost Toast – Shape Without Form Review
The angry metal times, they are a-changin’. Suddenly equality matters in the promo pit, and now instead of casting my gaze to particularly promising offerings on the farther end of the horizon I must...
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Karg – Traktat Review
When last a Kargian headline graced this Hall, it was attributed to a TYMHM for their 2018 release, Dornenvögel. Young, full of hope and utterly devoid ov wisdom was the unseasoned Muppet, and ’twas...
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Zifir – Demoniac Ethics Review
Look at that album art, yo. Just look at it. LOOK AT IT!!! You might not necessarily be able to discern just what, exactly, is transpiring in that depiction, but you do know one thing:1 This… is… Black...
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Dauþuz – Monvmentvm [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]
Oh God, not you guys again. It’s fucking December, don’t y’all have halls to deck and neighborhoods to ruin with your festive warbling? I’m a busy Muppet, yo, I don’t have time to babble about the...
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Mental Health Awareness: Interview with Déhà of Slow/Déhà
I don’t typically care too much about you goons’ atall tention spans, but I’m about to throw a LOT of words at y’all so I’ll try to keep this quick. If you’ve read Grymm‘s moving musings on mental...
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NONE – Damp Chill of Life [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]
Let’s get one thing straight from the get-go: I trvly don’t give a fuck about you, never have and never will. When I share something wonderful here, it’s because awesome Muppet is awesome, not because...
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Slow – VI – Dantalion Review
An indifferent moon silently presides over an ocean bejeweled with the shimmering ghosts of stars, witness to all and concerned with none. The air is alive with salt and sea breeze, the water as clear...
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Video Premiere and Interview with Butchered of Arallu
Every once in a while, for some strange reason, we like to give you creeps the VIP1 treatment and surprise y’all with some extracurricular goodness. Today you turds’ll be treated to a trve and tasty...
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Hanging Garden – Into That Good Night Review
As this strange and uncertain age of alternative facts scuttles onward, I find increasingly a great many things difficult to believe. For one, I can’t believe that the same devices that rescued us from...
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